04/08/14
470,318 notes

Teacher:  
"Can you please tell the class why you're so late?"

Me:  
Someone told me to go to hell

Me:  
Couldn't find it at first

Me:  
But now I'm here

04/08/14
647,460 notes

person:  
you're blocking the view

me:  
i am the view

04/08/14
235,437 notes
04/08/14
552 notes
04/08/14
47,760 notes

spicy-vagina-tacos:

yeah clowns and heights are scary and all but have u ever clogged your friends toilet

04/08/14
77 notes
04/08/14
100,824 notes

darning-socks:

idk man there’s just something really flattering about people who acknowledge your existence even when you’re not with them

04/08/14
194,140 notes

How is sponge bob a sponge if everyone in his family are chocolate chip cookies

04/08/14
685 notes
04/08/14
58,577 notes

kaalashnikov:

callmeoutis:

kaalashnikov:

ryleighisme:

kaalashnikov:

maybe I stopped having periods because my body finally accepted that my gender is robot and robots dont have periods

Maybe you’re pregnant

I’m an aromantic asexual who has never had sex

maybe you’ve been chosen as the vessel of the antichrist

the most likely explanation

TBR